Thursday, November 27, 2008

t giving

Dear God,

I am thankful for my grandma. She made me soy chocolate breadpudding with syrup and walnuts. I love her and I love soy. I did not eat any turkey today but its okay because I had soy bread pudding and soy milk in my coffee. I think that is great that she accepted my soy needs and did not discriminate on me during the holiday season.

God bless soy <3
Love you.

Love Always,

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Love Letter to Silk Soy Milk Corporation

Dear Silk Soy Milk,

I just wanted to extend my sincere gratitude for your product. I am severely lactose intolerant and upon discovering of your product and it's availability at Starbucks and some other coffee distributors my morning routine is now more satisfying. I am concerned, however as to why Dunkin Donuts doesn't carry your product. Maybe they aren't informed as to how truly delicious it really is, or maybe you haven't marketed your product in a proper manner towards the corporate coffee conglomerate? I'm not too sure, but I just wanted to say thank you for making my favorite beverages, breakfasts an desserts more enjoyable.

Love Always,

Maybe they'll solve the problem that Dunkin keep neglecting?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Fivebucks to the ER

Thank you starbucks for serving me a grande triple shot sugar free soy latte for five bucks. I don't have a stomach ache, I do however think my nervous system is going to explode through my fingertips and I will not longer be able to write. The ER looks like the place for me to spend my afternoon.

Love Always,

Ps- starbucks should make the mocha spice latte that dunkin has now because its delicious yet deadly due to the consistent lack of soy.

Friday, November 14, 2008

soy disaster

I was feeling British and decided I wanted to have a spot of tea in the afternoon. I poured Silk Soy Milk while listening to Joanna Newsom into my tea cup. Soy milk doesn't taste good in hot tea. In fact, I'm sure it only tastes good in chai tea lattes at Fivebucks. I'll have to start liking Chai and start buying it to enjoy in the afternoons while I want to listen to Joanna Newsom and clean my room while tearing through boxes and getting nostalgic to days where I wasn't lactose intolerant, didn't go to college and didn't have to worry about being discriminated against at Dunkin Donuts and 711's because I was a normal dairy drinker just like you.

This is how Dunkin Donuts Sovles my soy problem:

I checked my email today and this is what I got in reply to my angry soy discrimination letter to Dunkin Donuts:

Dear Stefanie,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Dunkin' Donuts. We always appreciate hearing from our customers. It's important to us to get feedback both good and bad about our products and the service you receive at our shops. We will make sure your comments get heard and shared with the appropriate people.

At Dunkin' Donuts we value our customers and are committed to making your visits to our stores a pleasant experience. If we can be of any further service please feel free to call us toll free at 1-800-859-5339.

Thank you and have a great day.


Customer Relations Associate

Ref # 6503194


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Angry Letter to Dunkin Donuts Corporation

This is what I sent to Dunkin Donuts:

I love coffee as much as the next American. However, I think that if, "America Runs on Dunkin'" then your company is discriminating against the lactose intolerant citizens of America. Why is it that I can't enjoy a regular cup of American coffee like the rest of my patriotic counterparts due to my lactose intolerance. Sure, I could have my coffee black, but that's un-American! All Americans like their coffee light and sweet as I'm sure you already know. So with that said, why is it that there is no option for me to have soy milk in my coffee at my local trusted Dunkin Donuts? Why is it that I am forced to spend upwards of $5 at Starbucks for a soy latte to avoid a distasteful stomach ache while enjoying a deliciously caffeinated beverage? I'd pay extra at Dunkin Donuts even for the option to have soy milk, but the option isn't even there. Is there anything that can be done to explain to me why Dunkin' Donuts discriminates against the lactose intolerant Americans? This American can't run on Dunkin' unless it's to the bathroom.

Love Always,


Why does Dunkin Doughnuts hate the Lactose Intolerant?

I love coffee as much as the next American does. I have multiple cups a day, and I often pay for each cup and contribute to polluting the world because I don't use a thermos even though that would probably be a nice effort on my part. 
Daily routine of coffee consumption: A cup on the way to class, a cup between classes while on lunch break, a cup after classes  and then usually a cup after dinner. If it is a night where I'm writing blasphemous amounts of papers I'll usually consume 3-4 more cups of coffee during the time it takes me to get through the work.

So now, what's the problem with this? Besides the fact that I have a serious caffeine addiction that should probably be addressed with some sort of dietary rehab, I don't understand why if I want to enjoy delicious Silk Soy milk in my coffee I have to go to Starbucks and spend upwards of $5 on my coffee. 7-11, no soy milk. Dunkin Doughnuts- no soy milk, they don't even have half and half, they just use cream and let you call it half and half while they laugh at you because your ass is growing.

So if, "America runs on Dunkin'" then America must not be lactose intolerant.

Milk makes me sick. Therefore Dunkin Doughnuts makes me sick. I think they owe the population who is afflicted by different levels of lactose intolerance a freeby. I have a serious issue with paying $5 for my coffee at Starbucks, I have a serious issue with paying $2 for my coffee at Dunkin and then feeling like I need to flush my colon with detox afterwards because my insides feel like they're on fire for days.  I demand a free year of Dunkin Doughnuts coffee and then I'll just carry a cooler around with soymilk in it in my trunk, then America can truly run on Dunkin'.  Until then, Starbucks should stop charging me and extra 40 cents just because I'm lactose intolerant.

I hate this type of discrimination. Do you think Obama will do something about this for me? America needs a change. This American, can't run on Dunkin'.